In Donna's head

I Heart You!

2012-01-31T20:41:00.000-08:00

What shape is your face? When I was a teen it was very important to know what shape your face was. Or so the magazines said.
Was your face oval?
Was your face round?
Was your face square?
Was your face rectangle? and the best one..
Was your face heart-shaped?

I pondered this for hours. I studied my face in the mirror, pondering square? round? rectangle? I couldn't tell. But I knew what I wanted.

Heart-Shaped!!!

That's what I wanted. It sounded so sweet, so romantic. I would be loved by all! I would fit in! I would be liked! If only. If only. I would be beautiful if my face was declared heart-shaped! I sort of believed like that. Never considering that my face was the shape it already was. Declaring it any shape didn't change anything. I wanted perfection. I knew there was one shape that was THE best shape. I thought it was the heart-shape. I didn't know a heart-shaped face has a pointed chin. Not perfect. I didn't know that all shapes had good things and bad things. And that all were beautiful.

If I could go back and talk to that young Donna I would get her started on memorizing Psalms 139. Especially verses 13 and 14.

¹³For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.

My soul didn't know anything than. I didn't know I was beautiful. I didn't know I was loved so much by my Father God. I didn't know that we are all beautiful to God. I didn't know that real beauty is from the inside out and that God's love flowing out of us brings a glow.

Do you know you are beautiful? Do ugly words jump up to argue with that as you read it? God loves you and as you let that soak in and you begin to comprehend that, you can begin to know who you are in Him. And when you know who you are in Him the beauty that is in you can start to shine out. Even if your face isn't heart shaped.

I Saw a Coyote, Yesterday

2012-01-31T20:24:00.000-08:00

I saw a coyote, yesterday. In town. Yes, in town. I was on my way to take back the little itty bitty rental car. I had just went up the last little hill and was on Willow just in town. I noticed everyone was slowing down. The cars in front of me and the cars coming at me were going slowly, and ahead I could see people pulled over and standing outside their cars. I thought "there's been a wreck". But I noticed a couple of dogs on my right. One was trying to "talk" to the other but the other one was growling at him. Then I did a double take. What a scroungy looking dog. He looked like a stray. What messy hair. Ugly! All this passed through my thoughts in mere seconds. All of a sudden it dawned on me. A coyote! In town! Wow! I took a second look. I slowed down and looked back as I passed. How strange, right in town. Poor thing looked so out of it's element. It looked like it wanted to be anywhere but there in the proverbial spotlight. People staring.

Isn't that just like life? When you make a mistake and find yourself in the wrong place or find yourself doing something dumb, everyone is looking. Or so we think. We try so hard to be strong and be right. We try to not care what others think. But when we do dumb things or make mistakes, we feel the criticism.

I propose the loudest voice we hear is our own. We beat ourselves up long after God has forgiven us of things. We have asked for his forgiveness. He has given it to us. He has blotted out our transgressions. Yet we remember them, over and over. No wonder we feel wounded and ugly and dumb or whatever ugly word you apply to your soul. Inside we look like that poor coyote. Scroungy, lost, like a stray. We are none of those if we have accepted the savior. But we believe we are.

Last week I was in a home where two Scottie dogs lived. They were beautiful. Well groomed. Scottie haircuts. Shiny. Happy. Loved. When you compare the picture of them with the picture of the wild coyote. You have a picture of an animal unloved and two animals loved. The coyote didn't belong. the Scotties belonged. The coyote was lost. The Scotties had a home.

If you have accepted the Lord, you are loved. You belong. You are clean through Him. You have someone to turn to, someone who loves you so much. I have found as I press into the Lord and I think on his love. I no longer feel like the coyote but like the Scotties. Loved. Joyful, Shiny. On my way to my heavenly home. As I press in and talk to him I am able to forget too and forgive myself and be kind to myself. I wish that for everyone.

I saw a coyote, yesterday......

Oh the Places I have Seen

2012-01-25T09:45:00.000-08:00

I went to a ladies night at church the other night. They were playing a game to get to know more about each other and I won a journal. Which if you know me is normal. I'm very blessed I win things all the time. My friend Sheri is amazed by it. I always tell people the secret is to actually enter contests and give aways and such. If you don't enter you can't win. Also you have to start believing you could win. Someone has to win. Why not you? I'll write another time about all the fun things we have won.

Anyway, I digress. I was telling about the other night. I won but I was blushing because I won for living in the most cities. We have moved so often that it is kind of embarrassing. A lot of people still live in the same town or city they were born in. They look at you weirdly if you tell them you have moved a lot.

On the fun side. I have lived in a high rise, a few duplexes, an apartment complex in the beauty of Tennessee, an apartment above a gym (the wall of living room was the other side of the basketball hoop, a house with 4 bedrooms when I had one baby daughter, an apartment with 2 bedrooms with 3 daughters, behind a house built to have a store in the front, a flat-upstairs and than downstairs, 3 trailers before they were called mobile homes, other apartment complexes in Michigan, range style houses, a house in the city with a rose arbor, a house in the suburbs etc. It's been quite the adventure. Since I like to write I have a wealth of places to draw from. I have lived in North Dakota, Tennessee, Michigan, Illinois and Indiana. I've lived in cities like Hamtramck, MI. Which is the polish part of Detroit. Grand Rapids, Michigan, which has lots of book publishers with lots of sales. And we love books. The suburbs of Detroit, which each had it's own personality. Minot ND., where the line: Why not? Minot? Freezin is the Reason. Could be heard. So very, very cold there Indianapolis or Indy as those who live there say it. Just 5 minutes from the then Brand new state of the art zoo. Kokomo, IN which I like the sound of
K O K O M O. It rolls off the tongue. Walton, IN which was like the tiniest place ever. In the country, in the city, in the metro cities, in a tiny tiny town, in college towns, in suburbs. I like to say variety is the spice of life. But I've had enough variety and I have now lived in the country on the land my family has owned since the 50's. I'm full circle back where I belong and I've lived here since my birthday in June of '93. I never want to move again unless I win the HGTV dream house. Because remember I'm very blessed and win stuff all the time. It may happen! I just have to believe it's possible.

Standing

2012-01-24T18:39:00.000-08:00

First I must explain. I live in the country on acres of land. When you live in the country with lots of acres, people think you have room for animals. They think you want more animals. So not true! People drop their unwanted animals here. I hope they all get a rash the doctor can't cure. Well no...well maybe. I have found homes for untold numbers of cats and dogs. I've had around 12 of them fixed and because of them getting hit by cars we have buried a lot of them in the over 18 years we have lived here.

I know you are saying weird subject but hang in there. I said all this to tell about the cats. When a cat gets hit by a car and Paul or I have to bury it. (Our than son in law must get credit for burying more than his share also.) Once one has died, we find a place and start digging. As you dig the hole all the other cats come around the hole and watch. Some sit close by, some stand or sit a little further back and some stand even further back. Paul said he talks to them as he digs and warns them about the dangers of going in the road. They look at him and listen like they understand. I never thought to do that. But anyway, they all gather and stay with you till you stomp down the last bit of dirt on the grave.

I'm not a "Martha" person by nature. So I may or may not bring you food when you lose a loved one. Depends what is going on with me. But I will stand with you. I may be able to come to the funeral home I may be able to come to the funeral. It all depends. If I can, I will, if I can't I won't. But I can promise you what I know I will do. I will stand with you like the cats. I will wake up in the middle of the night and pray for you. I will pray for you as I go through my day. I will remind the Lord that He said He won't let you have more than you can handle. I will pray that He will comfort you and strengthen you. I will pray that you can keep your mind on Him so He can keep you in perfect peace. I will ask the Lord to carry you. If your child dies I will pray for you for years. I will respect your loss. I will acknowledge your pain. Like my cats do, I will stand with you even if you don't know I'm praying.

I think we change things by standing with our friends and loved ones using the gifts that we possess. Some bring the food. Some help clean the house or make arrangements. Some visit at the hospital or while hospice is there. Some collect money if needed to help with the cost. Some send flowers or cards. Some know just what words to say to comfort. Some bring hugs or hold hands or listen. Some pray.

Some stand close by.
Others a little further back.
And still others stand far away.

But we all stand with the bereaved in the way we can. Using the gifts God has given us. And if we all do that than the person is taken care of and helped to get through the dark time of loss.

Make me Content

2012-01-21T10:58:00.000-08:00

Here it is a Saturday morning in January. My friends in the north tell on Facebook of the snow and show blowing and shoveling. I gaze out my window at the Tennessee landscape. No snow. The drive looks damp. But no snow. That's okay with me. I'm good without it for a while. It's winter. I'm sure we will have some but for today. I'm good.

It makes me think of that verse the Apostle Paul wrote. ...I have learned in whatever state I am in, to be content. Phil 4:11... the amplified version puts it like this: for I have learned how to be [f] content (satisfied to the point where I am not disturbed or disquieted) in whatever state I am.

I am content without snow. But am I content while waiting for prayers to be answered? Am I undisturbed as I wait for healing to take place, for relationships to be restored? Am I disquieted as life plays out in ways I don't understand or like? Am I able to rest in God? Am I able to trust Him to work it all out for good?

I often think of Corrie Ten Boon. A prisoner of war in a concentration camp. She was a believer. She loved God. She railed against her circumstance. She was disquieted at first. Her sister Betsy had grace and carried herself with a quiet peace. I remember reading how she thanked God in everything. Much to Corrie's dismay Betsy told her. "we must thank God for the lice our room is infested with. Because it keeps the guards out so we can freely share the gospel with the other prisoners. We can sing without being told to stop." (My paraphrase) Corrie came to understand and embrace the peace Betsy possessed. When Betsy died. God kept Corrie and she lived to tell us about courage in a fiery trial and love that reaches to the lowest despair a person can imagine.

I often think of Corrie and Betsy and think, "Could I have been content there? I don't know. Can I be content now?"

Whatever situation we find ourselves in. Whatever trial we are going through. Whatever season of life we are in. Lord please help us to be peaceful, quiet and content in you. Trusting you to bring your good will to our lives.

Just a Closer Walk

2012-01-16T07:13:00.000-08:00

Just a Closer Walk with Thee, Grant it Jesus is my Plea. Daily walking close to thee. Let it be, Dear Lord is my plea.....
Did you ever sing this song? Years ago we would sing this in church. And I would long for a closer walk with the Lord. I would sing it with sincerity. My heart longed to be closer, have a more intimate relationship with my savior. I didn't know it would be years before I learned how to come into His presense. And I never had a clue how sweet, how precious, how healing it would be. Awe if I had known. If I only had had an inkling of what a closer walk would be like.
Let me go back to spring of 2010. I shared this in another post but it is worth repeating. We had a man come preach at our church. Bob Rodgers. He challenged us to pray an hour a day. Now I don't mean to be boastful just sharing a wonderful thing that has happened to me. But a lot of us took him up on the challenge and I started an adventure my soul had been longing for since I was a mere girl. We had committed to pray for an hour a day for a month. I have been doing it ever since. Only missed a day here and there. But it has been so sweet spending time with my savior, with Father God. I thought I would pray and God would change so many people, family, friends, co-workers, situations, the world.
Side note here: I had a magnet in my first car I owned at 17, James Cagney was my car's name. He was a little black volkswagon with a red interior. The magnet that stayed on the dash said "Prayer Changes Things" It has been a deep and long held belief of mine.)
Okay back to what I was saying. I headed into this adventure to change others by prayer. Imagine my surprise when I was the one who changed! And I was the one who realized, I have a lot to work on here! As I prayed and studied and listen to teaching and preaching I learned more of God, more of his great love for me. I learned that he is crazy about us. When we show up to talk with him. He shows up. The one who started everything takes the time to listen to our prayers. He guides us and shows us what he wants for us. He shows us what a beautiful life he has planned for us if we will just follow him. Just walk with him. Just talk with him. he also shows us hidden attitudes. Unforgiveness we are harboring. Sins we didn't realize we were doing and sins we justified. He shows us these so we can deal with them through repenting, through finding scriptures to stand on as we turn a new way. He shows us lies of the enemy that we believe. We receive these lies like they are truth. We have heard the lies for so many years that we accept them. But as I spent more time with the Lord I saw the lies for what they were and I am overcoming them with truth. Truth really does set us free. Jesus is truth so as we daily walk close to Him the lies will be revealed and He will help us replace them with His truth about them. As I learn to walk close to Him I am learning to be more peaceful, I'm learning about his grace. I'm learning about his amazing mercy. It is the most wonderful adventure. God is good! Just make a decision today to press into Jesus to Walk Closer to Him today than you did yesterday. If you mess up and fall down get up, wipe yourself off and press in again.

A mother Arose

2012-01-10T22:06:00.000-08:00

Judges 5:7 b

Until I, Deborah, arose,
Arose a mother in Israel.

This is the verse the Lord brought to me this morning. It resounded in my heart. A mother of Israel arose. Where are the mothers arising today? Am I rising up? Am I standing up and shouting No to the enemy? Deborah was a warrior. She went into battle. Most of us, though we are sure we can't even achieve it prefer the Proverbs 31 Woman. We can at least be safe at home. Or maybe the Titus 2 woman. Teaching seems so gentile and pleasant.

But here is Deborah. A Warrior! For crying out loud! A Warrior? Me? Lord you must be talking to someone else. No? You are talking to me.

Deborah was a judge, a prophetess, a mother and a leader. Things were going terribly wrong and she talked to Barak asked him, Didn't God tell you to go deploy troops? to fight the battle? She was in essence saying to him. Hey Buddy aren't you supposed to be obeying God and fighting the battle and winning? He answered her and said If you will go with me I will go but if you won't I won't. She pointed out that if she went than the glory would go to a woman. Being a smart man he didn't care. So up she went with him. And long story short: they won the battle. And have you even heard his name? I have but had forgotten it. But anyone that knows much about the Bible has heard Deborah's name. She got the glory. And in their song of victory she sings the verse above. She was a Mother in the land where she lived. A woman in the area she occupied. She had a job... or two. She was a very busy woman. But she saw that there was danger and she pointed out to someone what THEY should be doing. But when he wouldn't do it alone She arose and fought the battle along with the others. And they won.

I don't know about you but I lift my eyes and all around me are battles. Good and evil. Pain, suffering, sorrow assails many. Prodigals, people that are blinded and have never seen the truth of God. Fruitless Christians, struggling and ineffective, defeated. And this message, this statement, this strong song that Deborah sings out UNTIL I, DEBORAH, AROSE, AROSE A MOTHER IN ISRAEL. This calls out to me. There was
trouble and a mother arose. I hear the clear challenge. The ringing question. Will I arise? Will you arise? Will a mother in the body of Christ Arise? Sisters, will we arise and do what the Lord is calling us to do? Will you be a warrior? Will you pray? Will you teach? Will you serve? Will you role model? Will you arise and do whatever the Lord is asking you to do? There is a Keith Green song below are part of the lyrics:

Who you gonna throw in the lake of fire,
Oh God our Lord?
Who you gonna throw when the flames get higher,
Oh God our Lord?
The Devil and the man with the dark desire,
Oh God our Lord.
The Devil and the man with the dark desire,
Oh God our Lord.

Oh God our Lord, Oh God our Lord.
Who you gonna throw in the lake of fire,
Oh God our Lord, Oh God our Lord.

Will my name be there when the books are opened,
Oh God our Lord.
Will my name be there when the books are opened,
Oh God our Lord.

You better know now, don't just be hoping,
Oh God our Lord.
You better know now, don't just be hoping,
Oh God our Lord.
Oh God our Lord, Oh God our Lord.
Will my name be there when the books are opened,
Oh God our Lord, Oh God our Lord.

Who's outside of the Holy City,
Oh God our Lord.
Tell me, who's left out of the Holy City,
Oh God our Lord.
The liar and the thief and the ones half ready,
Oh God our Lord.
The liar and the thief and the ones half ready,
Oh God our Lord.

Oh God our Lord, Oh God our Lord.
Tell me who's left out of the Holy City,
Oh God our Lord, Oh God our Lord.

This song haunts me. Who will be fooled? Who will be half ready? Who won't know God when they die? We have to tell them. We hold the truth in our hands. We know the truth in our hearts. We have to be Women of God, Mighty Warriors. So some day we can say with Deborah: I AROSE, A MOTHER AROSE! Don't be mistaken. We are in a war. In a war for people's souls.

Pencils

2011-08-26T09:41:00.000-07:00

I must admit. I buy notebooks though none of my children or my grand baby is in school. I love a blank book with lovely pages ready to record any fancy my mind wishes to expound upon. So I buy new notebooks. I mean they are such a good price. A down right steal. Right? Than sometimes I share them with a daughter here and there because she also loves a blank page full of promise of a beautiful thought or a delightful story or a beckoning list. It’s like I gave her a piece of the finest chocolate. And don’t even get me started on pencils. Lovely, lovely pencils.

Well, okay since you got me started. One of the best presents ever was pencils already sharpened from my friend Ellen. Delightful! You get them at Walmart they are a natural wood color and they come SHARPENED! Already! I know, you are scratching your head. But I'm a little challenged when it comes to being organized and I can never find a pencil sharpener. So pre-sharpened pencils rule. And even if you have a sharpener they don't have the same kind of point. I'm getting off on a tangent. Let's leave it that I love pencils and sharpened wood colored pencils especially. Though I may branch out and dally with pencils of other colors. As I have occasionally taken a stroll on the wild side and tried to draw with colored pencils. Alas, the only pictures I can paint are with words. But I'm good with that. But my heart for now, belongs to the natural, pre-sharpened pencils that record my thoughts, dreams and lists.

Give Them Opportunity

2011-05-18T10:35:00.000-07:00

I have up on my wall some of that blank paper they wrap around your breakables from Hobby Lobby. Yes, two sheets. One taped to the wall and one to the door. They are there for when my sweet grandbaby, Bekki, who is 3 visits again. She had totally covered the last one we had up and I came across two more and replaced the other one. You see in our house we let them "write on the wall". Okay, not literally on the wall but when Mandi was little some 30 odd years ago. I heard someone say they were going to write on the wall why not cover it with paper and let them go at it. Trying to encourage them to stay on the paper. We had access to reams of used computer paper back when it came in long held together sheets that went on for miles. I tore some apart and taped them on the wall. Voila, the beginning of creativity in my children. I love their creativity. They will try so many things. Sewing, drawing, painting, crocheting, whatever hits their fancy. I WAS always so afraid but they inspire me. I remember one time one of the girls was going to decorate their flags for the flag group. One of her friends was like well I will have to go to town and get stuff to do that. But my daughter didn't. We had glitter, glue, paint, etc The other girl was so surprised. But if you want your children to be creative you have to have the supplies. Even if you pick them up a little at a time. Let them paint, cook, write, draw, put glitter on anything, every thing. I love glitter, don't you? And I love creating. And giving my girls creative license is something I'm so proud I was able to do.

Taking Back

2010-09-28T09:05:00.000-07:00

I have been hanging out at my friend's blog lately. She is so very creative. It is very inspiring. She oozes creativity. I think that if I hadn't been so full of fear I could have been more like her in my own way. I am very creative too but I let fear of other's opinions, fear of failure, fear of sinning, fear of who knows what stifle me through the years. Recently she wrote about being dammed up in an area. This struck a note with me. I have lived a life dammed up with fear and all his associates. I lived for over 20 years with low grade depression that would flair up into real heavy depression from time to time. But I have been free almost 8 or 9 years now and I think it is time to take back that that was stolen from me. I have also been dwelling in verse 7 of Isaiah 61. The NIV version and the Amplified version. I wrote this prayer/declaration from it:

"Instead of my former shame, I shall have a two-fold recompense, a double portion. Instead of dishonour, disgrace and reproach. I will rejoice in my portion, my inheritance. Therefore in my land (home, life) I will inherit, possess double what I have forfeited. And everlasting joy & peace will be mine! I receive double honour."

I especially like the part of, "what I have forfeited". I have forfeited my inheritance in these areas. My parents were creative when younger. My mom made a lot of my clothes when I was a child and clothes for my dolls. Besides being a seemstress she was a gardner and a quilter. Dad did some projects with wood and restored the insides of vintage cars. My Grandmothers both canned, sewed and quilted. They grew flowers. And Dad's side of the family had a way with stories. They told exciting stories, exagerated stories. When I read Mark Twain I felt like I was reading a family member's story. My uncles and aunts also had this kind of creative streak. So I have a great inheritance in creativity.
I am taking back my honour, my portion in this area. I'm looking to flourish and for my gifts to make room for me. Can't wait for the joy and peace that is coming to me.
I invite you to join me. What have you forfeited? What has been stolen from you by the enemy? It is never ever too late. Pray this prayer with me and take back what is gone. Let your gifts make room for you. Start enjoying what God has placed in you.

p.s. A. special thank you to Jeannie for inspiration

2010-03-23T20:18:00.000-07:00

My thing is prayer. Ever since I was a little girl I have felt a pull toward prayer. Our church once had someone praying 24 hours a day for an upcoming revival. Much to their credit they let the young people be a part. I must have been around 12 to 14years old. They let me sign up for 2 15 minute spots. I was so proud to be part of something big like that. I was faithful and did my best.
Jump forward to now. I would call myself a prayer warrior, an intercessor. But my confession is that I didn't really have an exact prayer time each day. OH NO! I'm sort of a laid back kind of person. Not into time or structure. Time challenged might be the word I'm looking for. So, no morning devotion at the same time each day or night. Now don't get me wrong. I pray. I pray in the shower, as I'm falling to sleep, in the middle of the night, on my school bus (don't tell big brother), in my car, while people are talking to me, at the store (no I'm not talking to myself), while I'm waiting, and at church on Friday mornings with my prayer partner Janie. Oh yes, on Sundays during the service too. But it is random, as needed. No set time. I used to feel guilty after years of trying and failing at having a daily set time. But a few years ago I let go of the guilt and just kept praying without beating myself up for not doing it the perfect way. But recently something has happened and
it has been amazing.
A man came to our church and preached. Bob Rogers. He challenged us to have
structure and set aside a specific time to pray with a pattern. The Lord's Prayer. This wasn't a new concept to me. Larry Lea preached this a few years ago. But I could not "tary one hour" back than. Though I gave it my best shot.
But for some reason, maybe a God reason, this time this minister's preahing on this concept captivated me. He took me in. I even thought how I wished our church would pray 24/7 like when I was a kid. Before I knew what happened I was down front with Paul next to me, my mom and Mandi some where in the crowd all down at the altar pledging to pray at a specific time with a specific pattern for the month of March. And I don't know how exactly it happened but they wanted to cover all the hours of the day and asked for us to commit to a time as he went through the hours of the day. And there I was with my hand up for the 3-4 A.M. time slot. Wait a minute! Who pushed my arm up? Oh, that was me, I guess. Well, I'm a little OCD and if I make a commitment I do my best to follow through. So the next day my adventure began. And for 23 days now I have been getting up and meeting with the Lord. I really thought Wow this is going to be great. God is going to change people. WooHoo. I had no idea the person He was going to change would be me. You see Bob Rogers said to expect a breakthrough on the 3rd day and the 7th and the 10th and I spaced out about that time but Paul reassured me there were more breakthrough days mentioned. Guess what happened at the first breakthrough? God healed my wounded heart. I had a relationship in my life that was broken and it is hard to describe but when I was around that person I was in pain and angry and it was a person I love. On the third day God touched me. Yep just like that wonderful old hymn "He
Touched Me, Something happened and now I know, He touched me and made me whole". I am again enjoying a sweet fellowship with this person. No anger, no hurt. I don't know if you believe in miracles but I sure do. It is a miracle. The other person hasn't changed at all. But my reactions and feelings have. When they are unreasonable or annoying it doesn't bother me. We even laugh and have fun together again. Hooray! God is awesome. So I am very excited about this adventure I'm on. This act of obedience is taking me into new uncharted waters. I will share more with you later. Hope I whet your appetite for more.

King of the Universe

2010-03-07T09:35:00.000-08:00

There is a song called: "Now I Sing" by Pocket Full of Rocks. One line in it says..."But they just don't know what it's like to have the King of the universe hold your hand".
Doesn't it amaze you that the King of the universe is aware of you. He sees you. He loves you. He loves me. That blows me away. I am continually trying to wrap my mind around it, around the wonder of it. How many people are there in the world? Thousands? Millions? More? And God sees us, each of us? And he cares about us. I guess he isn't restricted like we are. I can barely remember last week much less all the people in all the countries, all the people in each little corner of the world. Someone in an apartment in the slums of Calcutta. Another person in a village in Africa. A politician in Washington. A fisherman on the ocean. A child in Los Angeles, a grandfather in Columbia. Whoever. wherever. God sees each of us. And he has a plan for our lives. The Bible says he doesn't have evil thoughts toward us but a hope and a future. How astounding! The being who crafted the mountains, the inner workings of the system of a tree, the colors in a rainbow, the sweetness of a new born baby, the rolling thunder, the intricacies of a snow flake. The one who made all that and more has a plan for you! A plan for me! And for our children and the people you will meet today. And the people on the other side of the world. And the checker at Walmart, and the lonely souls in the nursing homes, and the forgotten prisoner and the star on the movie screen, and the wannabes and the has beens. All of us and each of us. Because yes he has a plan for the world but he also has a plan for each individual.
He has given us grace. His unmerited favor. It's a paradox. We are each His favorite. But we can only enjoy and revel in that, if we embrace what seems impossible. Because we look at it from a human view instead of from a God view. He is God. So much more than we can fully understand and if he can know each one of us, be aware of each one of us that populate this planet. Is it a stretch to believe he can have a plan for each of us and that we can each be his favorite? I don't think so. My heart doesn't think so. That is why I LOVE this song and it makes me want to sing and dance. Why it thrills me to think about what it says......

Now I Sing by Pocket Full of Rocks...

Let the world say that I'm crazy, let the world call me a fool
But they just don't know what I've found in You, my precious jewel
Let the world say that I've lost my mind and that I have no ground to stand
But they just don't know what it's like
to have the King of the universe hold your hand

So I sing, we dance before You Lord
I sing, we dance before You Lord
I can't help but sing, we dance before You Lord
Lord I sing, we dance before You Lord

Let the world say that I'm crazy, let the world call me a fool
But they just don't know what I've found in You, my precious jewel
Let the world say that I've lost my mind
and that I have no ground to stand
But they just don't know what it's like
to have the king of the universe hold Your hand

(Chorus)

So let the world say I can't dance,
that I've got no rhythm at all
They say that You can't even two-step,
if You tried You'd trip and fall
And there are many ballerinas
with much more grace than me
But I tell ya, I'm God's favorite,
He's got eyes only for me

(Chorus)

Hope

2009-07-20T23:20:00.000-07:00

Hope is a funny thing. We just need the tinest bit in order to hang on, in order to start on a different path, in order to... well, hope. And we can all give hope to someone. We can share a story from our own lives or from others we have heard. Our stories of how God came through or how things didn't change but he gave us peace. These can give hope. So tell your story. Tell what God has done for you. At least share it with one person. Sometimes we try and pretend we are perfect and we don't want anyone to know we struggle. But when you overcome in that strugggle, who will rejoice with you? And who will draw strength and hope from your untold story? No one.

You know how when it has been dreary and rainy for days and days and a little ray of sunshine shines through a cloud and you suddenly have hope that maybe, just maybe the sun will start shining again. That is what hope is like. We can come across someone and we can just smile in passing but maybe that person needed that. You just gave a little hope. We can just speak a kind word. Share something happy you heard. Connect with someone on even a small scale. My friend Josie comes by and visits my mom for a few minutes. She brings her some food or a dessert. And on those days that she feels and I feel that no one cares, she shows us someone does. Her reaching out touches us. (We really do know others care. Just on some days doubt creeps in.) Josie gives us hope.
One day we were having car troubles. It had quit outside mom's apartment. And we were really discouraged. I was thinking, Come on God. Help! I don't mean to be disrespectful but Gees, help us out here. A little bit later here comes Josie. She had stopped in the middle of doing her dishes because God told her to come. And when she came in and after a while she said. I think we should pray. Mom's neighbor was there. My daughter who isn't following God right now was there and mom and I. Paul was outside trying to get it to work. Josie just started praying. The best prayer! A prayer that brought hope. A prayer a prodigal and a unbeliever heard and felt God's presence through. When Josie prays you can tell she is talking to someone who she knows well. It was beautiful. And, oh yeah, the car started. But even if it hadn't, we had been in God's presence for a moment and had found hope.
I encourage you give someone hope today. And if you need hope. Encourage yourself in the Lord. Remember what he has done in the past for you and others. He is the same yesterday, today and forever

On Being "Right"

2009-07-20T22:35:00.000-07:00

A friend and I were talking and righteouness came up and that reminded me of this article I wrote for our church newsletter. Thought I would share it with you.

On being “right”

In the south we have a saying. When you think someone has problems you say, "He ain't right". (Now I know that isn't correct English but let’s ignore that for now). So if your co-worker suddenly gets mad at you and stomps out of the room slamming the door behind her. You look around and say to whoever is in the room "She ain't right", while shaking your head. Or if some bozo cuts you off while you are driving. You don't get mad you just say to yourself. "He ain't right." Or if your teenager wants something just ridiculous. You look at your spouse and say, “She ain’t right.“ Of course that might be something from your spouse’s side of the family. But that is getting off track… Just whenever someone is saying or doing something entirely off the wall you can refer to our southern saying. “He or she ain’t right”. You get the idea.
Well, today I was reading in the Bible and I got so excited it tells how you and I can be right or righteous. I heard someone explain that righteousness is right thinking, right living, right being, . So we CAN be right. But if you are like I am, you might have a long history of not being right. Maybe lots of baggage from the past. Times when we definitely didn't have a right thinking or weren't living right in anyone's eyes even our own. But I read that if we have faith in Him who raised Jesus from the dead it is counted or credited to us as righteousness. Wow isn't that awesome? We who have a long history of bad choices, mistakes and even out and out rebellion can be forgiven. And than as we believe in God, he takes our faith and see us as righteous or right. Simply amazing! It went on to say that we couldn't work for it. No matter how good we can be, that doesn't count. No matter what good works you do they don’t count. Of course, don’t stop being good or doing good things, just don’t’ think they are making you a righteous person. Only faith in the God who created us counts as righteousness.
I've heard people say that new growth like we are experiencing right now in the spring time, represents when Jesus came back to life from the dead. The trees were asleep, dormant and now they are blooming and living again. And so as I ride all over my county on my bus and see the new multi-colored tulips, the yellow daffodils, the redbud trees (which by the way are purple. I have no idea why), the yellow bell bushes, the lavender lilac bushes, the white dogwood trees and those trees that look like lace is floating on them and all the others that are blooming vibrantly with an outrageous abandon . I am reminded that He lives and I believe in him and God counts that as me being right. I, who sometimes am a mess of a person , am made right before God. So, people may be able to shake their heads at me sometimes and say, "She ain't right“. And sometimes mentally I’m not. But they can't say I'm not right spiritually. Because I am. Doesn't that just blow you away? It's so great it is hard to wrap your mind around it. We can be right before God. Way cool.

A Deer in Town

2009-06-08T18:25:00.000-07:00

You are not going to believe what I saw in town the other day! I was right smack in the middle of town by the hospital and a deer ran across the road. First of all deer are not usually alone. And this one seemed afraid, of course deer always seem afraid. Hence the deer-in-the-headlights saying. But this poor thing. She ran like a wild thing right up to a fence by the hospital, she stood there for a minute looking confused and than went left onto the hot asphalt of the parking lot. It was hot enough to fry an egg on, heat rising up from it. She sort of hobbled across it towards the hospital and another parking lot and toward a busy street a few blocks away. I suggested to Paul we help her. And he reminded me of a story we had read not long ago about how a man tried to catch a deer and how they are really wild and not docile animals and how the man got very hurt trying it. So I whispered a little prayer for the deer and wished her well.
But as I thought about her I wondered what happened to her. Did she make it back to the wild? Did she find her other deer friends? Did some hunter grab his gun? Surely not in the town. Than my mind took a turn.
That look of fear on her face. I've seen that look on my face. on my kids' faces. That was a familiar look. One I had seen many times. The look of fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of the known. Stark, cold fear gripping your heart until you can't breathe. Do we sometimes take a wrong turn, get out of God's will and find ourselves in fear, in dread, in over our heads? Have you had a little fear inside grow until you are chilled till you shiver with it and it possesses you?
What is the remedy for fear. The Word! God's love letter to us. He will call you beloved when you are afraid. He will tell you through his word that he doesn't give you a spirit of fear but of love, power and a sound mind. Imagine that deer running wildly full of adrenaline, full of fear. Now imagine yourself running through life that way. God whispers, if you will listen, "Beloved" and peace comes. You have a sound mind not a run-a-way mind of fearful thoughts. You can go to the Psalms and read comforting words. He is our shepherd. A shepherd is always mindful of his sheep. He knows where they are or if they get away he comes and finds them. He provides for his sheep and cares for them. We are provided for we are cared for. He, the God who created the whole world is aware of you. Yes, you! And he loves you so much. He has good plans for you not evil thoughts. He has a purpose for your life, a plan. He is a Warrior God fighting battles for us or with us. He is strong and mighty. Go read the Book and think about him. Talk to him. A sweet friend of mine said that we can all pray from our heart. Talk to him like you would a best friend. He is waiting for you to talk to him. He accepts you, loves you, understands you. Don't run wildly through your days. Run into his arms. There is peace there.

Following your passion

2009-06-08T10:26:00.000-07:00

A successful man said that a person should follow their passion. Okay he wasn't the first person I have heard say this. But I have always agreed that it made sense. So that led to me asking myself why I'm not blogging more. I have always wanted to be a writer. Given the opportunity why wasn't I doing it? I looked at the passion question. Is my passion writing or sharing thoughts, or telling a story? I think it is the sharing of thoughts the telling of a story, the meeting of minds. When I look at it that way. It makes me want to blog. I was looking at it as WRITING. It had an ominous sound to it. It was all bound up with duty and shoulds. You know like your mother or teacher used to say "You should do so and so". Nothing kills motivation for me like the "shoulds". But if it sounds fun or rewarding I want to do it. Sharing ideas or thoughts or stories sounds fun to me, rewarding.
So here I am sharing with you these thoughts. This line of thinking led me to the thought. How often do we make serving God a duty? A should? Of course we should serve him. But if we focus on the works are we much more than the pharisees? They were so bound with rules and shoulds. They had so little love and joy. Are we any different than someone following a religion that has a god that is dead? They go to extremes in serving. If we focus on loving God and on the pure joy and love of knowing him how much better off we will be. If we fall in love with him and spend time with him. We will naturally serve him and each other but it grows out of following our passion for him. Not out of duty but out of love. If you are feeling like you are only following the "shoulds" in your service return to your passion your first love. Return your focus on Jesus. He is so inspiring! Loving him is pure joy.

Nightime Musings

2009-06-04T14:37:00.000-07:00

I'm not real good at posting here. Sorry. But I found something I wrote a while back. Thought you might enjoy it.

Nightime Musings

Once upon a time there was a woman who couldn’t sleep. She tossed and turned and finally got out of bed. The world is a strange place in the middle of the night. All the weariness and worries of the daytime seem magnified in the wee hours of the morning. But there is also a deep silence, a sense that the world is resting, preparing for tomorrow’s sorrows and joys. Somewhere she could also feel God’s presence, for unlike many might quip, he doesn’t really sleep. He really is always awake, aware of where his children are and what they are doing. He sees what they think is done in secret and darkness. He is aware of all their life. He loves them and seeks their companionship always. He is saddened by their choices in the night time hours, mostly. There are a few who are up praying, beseeching him for those wayward ones who are in dire need. If most would just stop and listen they could feel his breath, his love for them.
But back to our sleepless one. She didn’t know what to do with herself. Her body wasn’t awake just her mind. What to do… mindless television? A book? Prayer? Write a letter? A poem? Nothing particularly appealed to her. So she decided to go back to bed and read a lame book she had beside her bed. Awe the numbing boredom of it all. How had she lost the joy in living? How had she lost the happiness she had sometimes known? She remembered when she could just watch her wee ones breathe with an angelic look on their face and she would know life would be okay. That if there was something that perfect there must be a God above who loved her so much that he blessed her with a miracle all her own. And now she wondered why God who she knew loved her because she had walked with him for many years and he had brought wonder to her over and over. But why did he allow sorrow and pain to come to her through that same sweet child who had grown into a young adult capable of making wrong choices that tore at her heart and at her peace. Did he still love her? Than why this ongoing torture? Was this somehow growing pains for her child? Was it a way for that child to find her own relationship with this wondrous God that her mom knew? If that were the reasons behind it all than she could bear the pain because their was nothing in all this wide world more precious, more true than the sweet knowledge of the love and presence of her heavenly father. And this was what she wanted for her children more than any other thing. That they know the amazing love and acceptance of their creator. That they connect with the one who made the universe. One on one. Because if they could do that than it would be well with them. Yes, she thought maybe she could sleep better knowing that perhaps this was why all the current turmoil. If this were the reason than she could just put all those wearisome worries and frets in the hands of the one who is all knowing, is all powerful and all seeing. Yes, she could trust him and cast it all on him and finally get some sweet sleep and rest.

I Dare You

2009-05-13T16:38:00.000-07:00

There are some little boys on my bus who see an adventure in everything. One lives by some woods. He just moved there and he is convinced there are wolves and rattlesnakes in the woods. He even claims he saw a bobcat. And for months another boy just KNEW the log in the lake was really an alligator. Even though it was always in the same place. And when Tristan went to city lake. He asked if sharks were in there.
They still have wonder in their eyes and expectation in their hearts that there is an adventure to be had. Reminds me of Huck Finn. I always loved how Huck was ready at any moment to explore or have fun. I could imagine floating down the Mississippi with him and Jim in the canoe. The sun shining down, fish jumping in the water. Just a sunny lazy day to enjoy all God made: trees, water, fish, sunshine and the company of another person.
I wonder what he, God, thinks of us when we lose this wonder and readiness for adventure. I don't know all the theology about if he gets sad. But if he does, losing our wonder and readiness for adventure would be something to be sad about. Just think he makes this awesome beautiful world with red headed woodpeckers, spotted skunks, bobcats, rattlesnakes, sharks and don't even get me started about all the flowers. And what do we do? We either don't see them or we ignore them and get jaded and think something like: daises, ho hum...deers, they are everywhere....possums..eh
Why don't we try and look at the world with a child's viewpoint. Some where in you is still that wide eyed child who found everything wondrous. Find him or her and if you just can't do it. Borrow a kid and take a walk or drive with them and look at the world through his eyes. Have an adventure. I dare you!

2009-04-30T20:23:00.000-07:00

I was just gone from work over the weekend and suddenly when I got back I noticed that everything was bursting out in foliage. All the bare forlorn trees are happily dressed in green finery. And flowers are blooming everywhere. Apparently lavender is the color this year. The Iris seem to prefer that color for their spring attire. And the bright pink Azaleas are gorgeous. And even in the woods there are little blue flowers scattered here and there.
It is just so beautiful. I hate to go inside. No telling what I might miss. It seemed like winter would never go away this year. But like a burst from a firecracker. Boom! Beauty everywhere!
I was thinking about this and I found a correlation in prayer. We go through the wintertime of prayer. Trying to be brave and have faith but sometimes it seems cold and desolate and like the answer will never come. We straighten our shoulders and push on through the drifts of doubt and discouragement. And than suddenly like spring time, the answer bursts forth upon us. That prayer for a prodigal to come home, prayer for healing, prayer for a situation to work out, prayer for a financial need, etc. The answer is there and we bask in the sunlight of it. We look at the beauty of it and the winter time of waiting and praying disappears and we see only the beauty of the answer. An answer that took a long time and yet seems to have come to us suddenly. A good gift coming down from our Father.
Don't get discouraged while your waiting. When the answer comes it will be so sweet, so worth the wait. God controls the time for answers for our prayers just like he controls the springtime's coming. Be reminded by each flower and tree that the answer is coming.
Hang on! You can trust Him.

2009-04-26T19:43:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I thought I would write more often. Silly life keeps getting in the way. So here is something I wrote a long time ago. First a small disclaimer. I'm not sure if I should have used "effect" or "affect" and it is too tedious to look it up. So I hope you like it. I will write "fresher" stuff soon. I have to tell you about the flying turkey and flying duck. And the new flowers on the mountain. But for now here is this:

Eric Clapton has a song called “Change the World”. I don’t remember all the words right now but I love the concept. We have heard this theme many times and in many ways. But are you in your day-to-day existence “changing the world”? Actually, you most likely are and don’t even know it. You are probably saying right now. “Change the world? I’m just trying to get by in this world. Who has time to change anything?” Well, you are being watched by the people in your life. And we never know what an impact we might have on them. We think we have to have it all together, be perfect to effect people. Do some big dramatic thing to effect them. But we don’t, we effect people as we travel through this journey we call life. No matter where you are or what you do for a living, you are effecting people. What you say, how you behave effects people. People are watching you. You may speak a good word into their lives. You may role-model something to them. You may just show them kindness. You may be that one person who believes in them. Or you could be effecting them in a negative way. You have to choose. This may all seem a bit daunting. “People are watching me? How do I do this well?”, you may ask. It’s simple really. You live the best you can with what you already know. And you keep learning and growing. You live the basic right things the Bible talks about. Honesty, kindness, joy, peace, love, gentleness, purity, integrity, etc. You read what the Bible says and keep embracing what you find there. You realize that you won’t ever be perfect but you keep trying to be Christ like and than when someone is watching and they imitate you, it will be a good thing.
One person who really affected my life and it was a good thing, was Sandra Shelton. She was a pastor’s wife at a church I attended. She probably doesn’t even know she effected me so dramatically. I was so young and so unsure of myself. I had strayed from God a few years before and felt so unworthy and unlovable. But she started me on a journey of learning to worship God. She made me believe that He cared enough about me that He wanted “my” praise. She opened my eyes to start believing that God found value in “me”. It took years for me to really be able to love and accept myself but she started me on that journey. She is an awesome woman of God. She showed me that God found value in women, 25 years ago we didn’t really know that in the church. I only lived near her for a short time and I’ve not really kept in touch with her but her influence is still felt by me and by those who I touch. I’m convinced that someday God will tell her the influence she had and she will be shocked.
I’m doing a Beth Moore Bible study that ask you to remember different eras of your life and tothink about the people who influenced you then. I remember a number of Sunday School teachers. Ican’t remember exactly what they taught in the class but I remember that they cared for me and that because of that I wanted to please them. I somehow knew that they loved God. a lot. So I got the message that loving God was important and that I would please them if I did. This made me start thinking about my being a craft teacher at my church. I need to love on those little ones and love on my awesome Father. And somehow that will be translated to them. I will be effecting them, maybe even changing the world a little at a time. That is a awesome opportunity.
So my question to you is: What are you doing to change the world? Are you loving God wholeheartedly? Are you doing the right thing though no one is looking (or so you think). Are you being kind? Do you love peace? Do you remember to be gentle? Even to your own family? Okay, don’t get discouraged. Don’t beat yourself up. We all need to grow in areas. Remember God’s mercies are new every morning. So start where you are and follow the shepherd each day as he leads you. Just do what you already know to do and keep learning and applying the new stuff you learn. I promise you will effect people for the good if you do and you might, just change the world. And how exciting is that?

Phifer's Mountain

2009-04-09T17:18:00.000-07:00

My bus route takes us up Phifer's Mountain. It isn't a mountain like they have in the Rocky's but it is a mountain like we have in Tennesse. I have wanted this route for a while because of the beauty on the mountain and all the way up there. It is soothing to the soul. You see God's handiwork there.
Just the other day we had what is probably the last snow of the season. I wish you could have seen it. It was like God took a giant shaker and shook out powered sugar on the bare limbs of the trees in the woods going up the mountain. It was so pretty, like lace. If we could have stopped and got out I bet it would have been silent there. Have you ever been in a woods and listened? If you are lucky enough to be far enough away from traffic and people, it is totally silent. Deeply silent. Sometimes when I am praying at church it is like that. In the altar, in God's presence, deeply, totally silent. And in the midst of that silence is a deep satisfying peace. And love. You just KNOW God loves you. Deeply, totally! I'm sure the feeling in both places is Him. I have friends who never go in a church but they know Him from being in his presense in places like the woods. Sometimes us church going christians discount that non church goers know God but we may be wrong. We can't see in another's heart. I'm glad God can.

But I'm sidetracked. I was telling you about the mountain. One day we saw 8 deers running across the road and across the field with their backs to us and their white tails bobbing in the wind. And I thought, "Oh, that is why they call them white tailed deers." Okay not a huge revelation but I'm a visual person. lol
We also see wild turkeys. They don't look like you might think. They are thinner. And they don't have their feathers all ruffled up like in the storybooks. And it is neat how when it gets turkey hunting season, they aren't there anymore. Do you think they got an email from the turkey working undercover at the hunting license bureau? "Watch out, they have their licences and they are coming to get you!" "smile"
We also watch as they turn over the dirt when winter is waining. They are getting it ready to plant and before you know what happened. There are shoots coming up of alfalfa or beans. They alternate what they plant so they won't tire out the dirt/soil. Who knew you could have tired dirt. Hey, not me I grew up in the middle of Detroit. And while we are talking about dirt for those reading from far away. Did you know we have red clay type dirt here in Tennessee? Not brown, red! Very cool! Once I lived in North Dakota. They have black dirt there. Not brown very black. But here I am sidetracked again...

Oh yes, the wildlife. We sometimes see gophers. Those guys can get really big. They kind of sit up on their hind legs and look around while eating. They fatten themselves up for the winter. I guess like bears. But such odd creatures.

A few times we saw a fox. He was alone and scruffy looking. He reminded me of a homeless person. Wary and tired but aware of his surroundings. Out of a need to protect himself, I guess. Do you ever find yourself like that? Wary and tired, needing to protect yourself? I would bet you have been hurt when you find yourself that way. Remember to take it to God when you get in that kind of state. He can mend and heal those wounds. And if you need protected He can do that too.

The grossiest but most morbidly interesting was the mink. Yes, like they make coats from. The reason he was gross was because he was dead. And when we noticed him he had been dead a few days. YUCK! But than again I thought, I have never seen a mink that was still attached to the original owner. My driver on the bus is such a "guy" (my apologies to all the guys). He thought it was a good idea to stop and see him. But my girly good senses took over and I just peeked from the window as we went by.

Not wild but very cool are the gunia fowl. They look so funny. If you haven't seen them do a google on them. They are a little crowd of birds and they travel tightly together all over their yard and the fields and other people's yards. I hear they are good at chasing away snakes. They are gray and very funny. I see them and think God has a sense of humour. I also think that when I look in the mirror sometimes but that's another story.

Very funny story. My driver before I rode with him was riding with another attendant on the mountain and they saw what appeared to be a bear. There had been stories in the paper about a bear siteing in Montery. They were completely convinced about the bear. Everyone in the office laughed at them. They later saw the "bear" again. He was a huge bear-like dog. Shows you can't trust your own eyes.
That reminds me of faith. We pray for something and we see with our eyes that nothing is changing. We are convince of it. But remember the "bear". Faith believes God is moving even though we can't see what he is doing.

Well, I'm tired so I will save the rest of my mountain stories for another day. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading this.

Since this is a blog I hope I didn't miss anything that should have been edited better. And I hope no offense was made. (my disclaimer)

This is random

2009-04-07T19:25:00.000-07:00

I don't know if I understand this blogging thing but I want to write. So I'm jumping in! I hope it isn't too scary for you to be in my head. :o Coime on this adventure and let's see what happens. Okay?