Flying

I dreamed I was flying.  Now you may think So What? I've dreamed of flying lots of times.   But I don't remember ever dreaming that before.  Actually, it was really early in the morning at my prayer time and I THINK I was sleeping.  Well whatever it was I had a "dream"  a (I shudder to call it this but..) "vision" of flying.  It was awesome!  Which is surprising because I have always been afraid of heights.  I was so relaxed and feeling so comfortable.  I was gliding along with my arms out above the tree tops.  I was over a valley, full of trees.   As I swooped down I heard the verse from the 23rd Psalms...the valley of the shadow of death....which at first scared me.  My Mom is 89 and I have always had to battle with fear since my first daughter was born.  Fear that something would happen to them.  And Paul had that pacemaker put in last year.  So fear tried to rise up in me.  But God has helped me a lot in this area.  I stand on the verse For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.  So I knew how to resist that fear.  Resisting it is an automatic response for me now.  So I was puzzled by the reference to the valley of the shadow of death.   But I kept flying and enjoying the beauty of it all.  I wanted to stay there and fly forever.

Since than I have turned it over in my mind.  What could this mean?  Sometimes things are symbolic.  I think being so peaceful and resting as I flew represented how I need to be in Jesus.  Just resting in Him.  Knowing that I can trust Him.  Last year He gave me the image of floating on the water.  How when I float, which I love to do, I am trusting the water to hold me up, relaxing, no worries about if I will sink or drown.  That is a picture of resting in God.  He will keep us through whatever happens to us in this life if we will just trust Him and rest in Him.  Also I am in an online group where the word fly means finally loving yourself.  When you can embrace the concept that God loves us so we must be valuable and we can quit beating up on ourselves and feel good about ourselves than we can start from that place of acceptance and live a good life.  Flying! So the flying represented to me, flying above.  Being okay over the valley.  But if the valley didn't represent the death of someone, than what did it represent?  Then I remembered what I've heard my pastor preach.  Do we choose life or death?  When we sin we are opening ourselves up to death.  If you interrupt it loosely:  the negatives in our life are like choosing death not life, evil not good.  So the valley represent those struggles we all have.  The struggles I have.  You know the demons you can't rid yourself of.  For instance,  if a person tries to quit smoking.  It is a battle.  A difficult, wearisome battle with yourself to do what you want but you can't seem to overcome.  I have those kinds of battles in areas and I feel like the valley represents them.  But the Lord was saying to me : Rest in me and we will fly above the problems and overcome them.

So I'm excited!  I'm looking forward to answers and to having strength as I continue my journey here on this earth.  I'm pressing in closer to God.  Praying and reading my Bible to know Him more and learn more about Him so I can trust Him and who He is.  Than I can learn more and more how to just rest in Him and fly above life's difficulties with His peace.

I Want You Back!

 


My daughter, Carla got me watching The Voice.  I love music and I haven't been a devoted fan.  I can only watch on Tuesdays and I have been known to be reading a book while watching.  Anyway I said all that to say that one of the people on it sang, with some of the kicked off singers, the Jackson 5's I Want You Back.  I grew up in Detroit so I grew up with the Jackson 5 and I love Motown.  I love how the Motown songs tell a story.  I also grew up on country music because that was what my parents listened to, so I had to listen also.  Funny how two such different genres of music both tell stories.  But I'm off where I was going with this.....

As they were singing on The Voice tonight, the song I Want You Back, it came to me that that  is what Jesus is saying to all those out there who aren't serving Him.  "I WANT YOU BACK"  If you have wondered away or walked away from your relationship with the Lord.  He wants you back!   I hope the message comes through when you are watching The Voice and hear a song like that.  I hope the message comes through when you wake in the middle of the night and feel like something is amiss.  I hope the message comes through when you are in the middle of Walmart.  I hope the message comes through when all is going well or all is a big hot mess.  No matter what is going on in your life.  He wants you back!!!

I used to tell my girls when they were little as I would rub their back...No matter where you go, no matter who you are with, no matter what you do, I will always love you.

The Lord is like that.  No matter what, He loves you and Wants you back!  I must add that if you have never given your life to the Lord He want you too!  We were made to have a relationship, personally with the Lord Jesus.

A story.....Bleeding on the floor....

Disclaimer: This is a story that is about all churches and no church.  My current church home which I adore happens to have the statement The hurting, the hopeless, the hungry.  So I'm using that but I'm thinking of churches I have attended from my childhood up.  I'm thinking of churches that I worked at.  I'm thinking of the body of Christ.  In an effort to move our hearts to be uncomfortable so ministry can happen in the church universal. (which is just a little funny since there are only a handful of you reading this.)  I guess it comes out of my own story as a prodigal and all the others I have seen bleeding.  May God help us all to be Christ like and to not to have to answer why we looked away or why we were indifferent or even hostile.  .

Now to the story....


I lie bleeding on the floor and you walk around me, pretending I'm not there.  You pray, God send us the hurting people, the hopeless, the hungry.  Than you pull back so I don't get blood on you from my bleeding broken heart.  You whisper in the corner about me, about my sin, forgetting how your own sin looked and forgetting the mercy that was given you.  I've lost hope but I show up.  But no one talks to me, no one smiles.   I'm hungry for more than food.  I would love a crumb of friendship?  Maybe just a sliver of a smile?  A kind word? Maybe not acceptance but at least not rejection.  I'm sorry for all the blood seeping but my life is a mess and I heard this was a spiritual hospital.  Was I wrong?  Was I misinformed?  Maybe I could sit here a little while.  I love the stories of that man.  Jesus?  I think that's His name.  They tell me He is the most wonderful man I will ever meet.  I'll leave soon.  I know the pain is too raw on my face but if I could just rest for a moment.  I'll be on my way I promise.  But I heard the singing was beautiful and this was a peaceful place.  A shelter from the storm my life is in.  As I sit I hear your laughter.  I cringe.  I hope you aren't laughing at me.  I can't tell.  Your voices sound just like out there.  But I pull into myself and try to hide.  I can't quite understand it all but if I could stay just a bit longer.  I know this place is yours and I'm trespassing.  But I'm hurting so.  I think the answers might be here.  What?  My time's up?  I didn't cover the pain and the blood and the rawness quick enough?  I'm not welcome.  I needed to become perfect  quicker?  Wait! I remember that man up front...he said there was none perfect, no not one.  Only that Jesus person.  That savior guy.  Okay, okay I'm going.  But before I leave I just want to point out that the smell of sin seems to still be coming from you.  Did you get healed or just cover the wounds?   I heard that real healing took place here.  Maybe they were wrong.

Tears Happened at the Dentist Today

So yesterday I got a tooth pulled.  OUCH!!! Not a fun experience.  Thought I had dealt with a lot of my fears.  But I missed this one. For years dentists have terrified me. I actually cried because I was afraid.  I looked down at my hands...they were shaking and I was shaking deep inside.  For crying out loud!  I'm a mom of grown women and a grandma (Nonna) even.  And all I could think about was that awful experience I had years before at the dentist.  The dentist (who I found out later was rumored to have been a drinker) gave me 6 shots and than proceeded with me trying to tell him I wasn't numb.  He hit a nerve.  Thought I was going to die. He said "Maybe the doses were too weak"  MAYBE!    You may be asking "How did you let that happen?"  Well, back than I had lacked confidence in myself and was so afraid I didn't speak up loud enough or forcibley enough ....but now I would never let that happen to myself.  For instance yesterday it took 6 shots because I kept telling him it wasn't numb. But his attitude was completely supportive.  I could tell he wasn't proceeding until I was numb and comfortable.  Yay!  Thank God for good dentist.  But if he had been a bad one, I wouldn't have let him proceed until I was numb.  I've grown and watch out better for myself.

Anyway, fear kept me away from the dentist till I found myself losing a tooth.  So embarrassing.  But I'm so glad the pain is gone and encouraged that I can face my fears and maybe get my teeth in good shape.

It reminded me of sin.  How much sin do we not deal with because of fear?  We fear we will lose control of our own life.  We fear we won't have fun any more.  We fear we can't let go of something we need to let go of.  But whether you need to give your life to the Lord or you already have and you just need to let go of a sinful habit. Or maybe you need to let go of shame even though God has already forgiven you.  Face the fear!  Make peace with your creator, accept your savior.  It's so wonderful on the other side.  What an adventure!  What a great way to live.  Not a perfect way cause we are human and inherently imperfect, but Jesus is perfect and if we let Him he will give us his perfect love and wash away our sins and give us a clean slate, a new beginning.  And if you already follow him but find you need to deal with something.  He won't throw you away because you have an area in need of His help.  In fact,  He already knows about it.  And like an awesome perfect father He wants the best for you.  Life with Him is a constant ongoing place of growth and if you ask him he will bring healing and deliverance in all the crevices of your heart and mind.  I have followed him since I was a child.  Sometimes closely, sometimes far away.  But these last few years I have pressed in to Him and learned more about Him and spent more time with Him. How sweet it's been.  We, He and I are dealing with deep things.  Deep established sins, habits, fears, pains.  And let me tell you:  It's so sweet!  Let me invite you to find out for yourself.  Come follow Jesus, or press in closer if you already are.

EASTER

Easter.   I would like to write about it.  But how do you capture the depth of it?  The beauty and drama of it?  How do you write with any kind of reverence that it deserves, about this story of love and grace and mercy?  This love story that was to be, long before time began.  How do you do it justice?  How do you capture such a great love?  The greatest love ever given?  How can mere words express the grandeur and majesty of it?  The depth of torture and pain of it?  How can mere words express the power of it?  Not me.  Not this year.  It feels too sacred for now.  Maybe sometime when the Holy Spirit gives me the right words.  For now  here are some words from Sacred Scripture:

 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. John 3:16 NKJV


 But he said to them, “Do not be alarmed. You seek Jesus of Nazareth, who was crucified. He is risen! He is not here.  Mark 16:6 




You can read more in any of the four gospels.  If you have never read it or haven't in a long time.  I suggest you go read this awesome love story.  It was written just for you.