Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Taking Back

I have been hanging out at my friend's blog lately. She is so very creative. It is very inspiring. She oozes creativity. I think that if I hadn't been so full of fear I could have been more like her in my own way. I am very creative too but I let fear of other's opinions, fear of failure, fear of sinning, fear of who knows what stifle me through the years. Recently she wrote about being dammed up in an area. This struck a note with me. I have lived a life dammed up with fear and all his associates. I lived for over 20 years with low grade depression that would flair up into real heavy depression from time to time. But I have been free almost 8 or 9 years now and I think it is time to take back that that was stolen from me. I have also been dwelling in verse 7 of Isaiah 61. The NIV version and the Amplified version. I wrote this prayer/declaration from it:

"Instead of my former shame, I shall have a two-fold recompense, a double portion. Instead of dishonour, disgrace and reproach. I will rejoice in my portion, my inheritance. Therefore in my land (home, life) I will inherit, possess double what I have forfeited. And everlasting joy & peace will be mine! I receive double honour."

I especially like the part of, "what I have forfeited". I have forfeited my inheritance in these areas. My parents were creative when younger. My mom made a lot of my clothes when I was a child and clothes for my dolls. Besides being a seemstress she was a gardner and a quilter. Dad did some projects with wood and restored the insides of vintage cars. My Grandmothers both canned, sewed and quilted. They grew flowers. And Dad's side of the family had a way with stories. They told exciting stories, exagerated stories. When I read Mark Twain I felt like I was reading a family member's story. My uncles and aunts also had this kind of creative streak. So I have a great inheritance in creativity.
I am taking back my honour, my portion in this area. I'm looking to flourish and for my gifts to make room for me. Can't wait for the joy and peace that is coming to me.
I invite you to join me. What have you forfeited? What has been stolen from you by the enemy? It is never ever too late. Pray this prayer with me and take back what is gone. Let your gifts make room for you. Start enjoying what God has placed in you.

p.s. A. special thank you to Jeannie for inspiration

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

My thing is prayer. Ever since I was a little girl I have felt a pull toward prayer. Our church once had someone praying 24 hours a day for an upcoming revival. Much to their credit they let the young people be a part. I must have been around 12 to 14years old. They let me sign up for 2 15 minute spots. I was so proud to be part of something big like that. I was faithful and did my best.
Jump forward to now. I would call myself a prayer warrior, an intercessor. But my confession is that I didn't really have an exact prayer time each day. OH NO! I'm sort of a laid back kind of person. Not into time or structure. Time challenged might be the word I'm looking for. So, no morning devotion at the same time each day or night. Now don't get me wrong. I pray. I pray in the shower, as I'm falling to sleep, in the middle of the night, on my school bus (don't tell big brother), in my car, while people are talking to me, at the store (no I'm not talking to myself), while I'm waiting, and at church on Friday mornings with my prayer partner Janie. Oh yes, on Sundays during the service too. But it is random, as needed. No set time. I used to feel guilty after years of trying and failing at having a daily set time. But a few years ago I let go of the guilt and just kept praying without beating myself up for not doing it the perfect way. But recently something has happened and
it has been amazing.
A man came to our church and preached. Bob Rogers. He challenged us to have
structure and set aside a specific time to pray with a pattern. The Lord's Prayer. This wasn't a new concept to me. Larry Lea preached this a few years ago. But I could not "tary one hour" back than. Though I gave it my best shot.
But for some reason, maybe a God reason, this time this minister's preahing on this concept captivated me. He took me in. I even thought how I wished our church would pray 24/7 like when I was a kid. Before I knew what happened I was down front with Paul next to me, my mom and Mandi some where in the crowd all down at the altar pledging to pray at a specific time with a specific pattern for the month of March. And I don't know how exactly it happened but they wanted to cover all the hours of the day and asked for us to commit to a time as he went through the hours of the day. And there I was with my hand up for the 3-4 A.M. time slot. Wait a minute! Who pushed my arm up? Oh, that was me, I guess. Well, I'm a little OCD and if I make a commitment I do my best to follow through. So the next day my adventure began. And for 23 days now I have been getting up and meeting with the Lord. I really thought Wow this is going to be great. God is going to change people. WooHoo. I had no idea the person He was going to change would be me. You see Bob Rogers said to expect a breakthrough on the 3rd day and the 7th and the 10th and I spaced out about that time but Paul reassured me there were more breakthrough days mentioned. Guess what happened at the first breakthrough? God healed my wounded heart. I had a relationship in my life that was broken and it is hard to describe but when I was around that person I was in pain and angry and it was a person I love. On the third day God touched me. Yep just like that wonderful old hymn "He
Touched Me, Something happened and now I know, He touched me and made me whole". I am again enjoying a sweet fellowship with this person. No anger, no hurt. I don't know if you believe in miracles but I sure do. It is a miracle. The other person hasn't changed at all. But my reactions and feelings have. When they are unreasonable or annoying it doesn't bother me. We even laugh and have fun together again. Hooray! God is awesome. So I am very excited about this adventure I'm on. This act of obedience is taking me into new uncharted waters. I will share more with you later. Hope I whet your appetite for more.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

King of the Universe

There is a song called: "Now I Sing" by Pocket Full of Rocks. One line in it says..."But they just don't know what it's like to have the King of the universe hold your hand".
Doesn't it amaze you that the King of the universe is aware of you. He sees you. He loves you. He loves me. That blows me away. I am continually trying to wrap my mind around it, around the wonder of it. How many people are there in the world? Thousands? Millions? More? And God sees us, each of us? And he cares about us. I guess he isn't restricted like we are. I can barely remember last week much less all the people in all the countries, all the people in each little corner of the world. Someone in an apartment in the slums of Calcutta. Another person in a village in Africa. A politician in Washington. A fisherman on the ocean. A child in Los Angeles, a grandfather in Columbia. Whoever. wherever. God sees each of us. And he has a plan for our lives. The Bible says he doesn't have evil thoughts toward us but a hope and a future. How astounding! The being who crafted the mountains, the inner workings of the system of a tree, the colors in a rainbow, the sweetness of a new born baby, the rolling thunder, the intricacies of a snow flake. The one who made all that and more has a plan for you! A plan for me! And for our children and the people you will meet today. And the people on the other side of the world. And the checker at Walmart, and the lonely souls in the nursing homes, and the forgotten prisoner and the star on the movie screen, and the wannabes and the has beens. All of us and each of us. Because yes he has a plan for the world but he also has a plan for each individual.
He has given us grace. His unmerited favor. It's a paradox. We are each His favorite. But we can only enjoy and revel in that, if we embrace what seems impossible. Because we look at it from a human view instead of from a God view. He is God. So much more than we can fully understand and if he can know each one of us, be aware of each one of us that populate this planet. Is it a stretch to believe he can have a plan for each of us and that we can each be his favorite? I don't think so. My heart doesn't think so. That is why I LOVE this song and it makes me want to sing and dance. Why it thrills me to think about what it says......

Now I Sing by Pocket Full of Rocks...

Let the world say that I'm crazy, let the world call me a fool
But they just don't know what I've found in You, my precious jewel
Let the world say that I've lost my mind and that I have no ground to stand
But they just don't know what it's like
to have the King of the universe hold your hand

So I sing, we dance before You Lord
I sing, we dance before You Lord
I can't help but sing, we dance before You Lord
Lord I sing, we dance before You Lord

Let the world say that I'm crazy, let the world call me a fool
But they just don't know what I've found in You, my precious jewel
Let the world say that I've lost my mind
and that I have no ground to stand
But they just don't know what it's like
to have the king of the universe hold Your hand


So let the world say I can't dance,
that I've got no rhythm at all
They say that You can't even two-step,
if You tried You'd trip and fall
And there are many ballerinas
with much more grace than me
But I tell ya, I'm God's favorite,
He's got eyes only for me