When I was younger I had a dream. A naive dream perhaps, but a dream neither the less. And it was my dream! My dream was: I wanted a house with a white picket fence.
I was thinking about dreams the other day. Someone had challeged me to dream, to resurect old dreams, to remember unbirthed dreams. I pondered on this turning it over in my mind. I had a dream to write. But I'm doing that here. I had a dream to sing but I laughed about that. I'm not really much of a singer. But my husband reminded me of my Uncle who couldn't carry a tune in the proverbial bucket but he sang anyway. He sang for the Lord and his pure love for God and deep sincerity blessed many. I would love to hear him sing again. I'm sure he's singing in heaven. But I think I will only sing for my grand baby and my children on my bus for now. Well, maybe in my prayer time I will sing in worship and of course at church with the congregation. But this didn't seem to be the dream that I could settle on. That one dream that was really in need of being resurected.
Then I hit on it! I remembered my dream for a house with a white pickett fence. As I thought about it I realized that it wasn't necessarily a literal picket fence. Oh, it may have been originally. But with the advantage of age I can look back on it now and see it was a symbolic thing, this picket fence. So I dug deeper and explored my memories. Why? What? Where? How? Just what did this fence represent. I was unprepared for the answer but very touched. You see my Grandma died when I was 10 and as it would, it had a profound effect on me. She was the most loving person I've ever known. I remember after traveling the long 10-12 hour trip from Michigan back home to Tennessee. There at the end waiting for me was Grandma Loftis' arms ready to embrace me into her soft tummy with a squeeze of love. Undconditional love. Love that came just because you were hers. Belonging, Safety, Joy, Peace, Fun, Warmth, all these and more were in that embrace. And as I thought of the picket fence I realized that the fence embraced the home like Grandma Loftis' arms embraced me. In my young mind her arms were welcoming, safe, warm and inviting. Love was there. It was a safe place. Sanctuary.
I explored the dream. My mind goes to two different places here. Home as a sanctuary and a person as a sanctuary. And I'm not talking about a church sanctuary here but a safe place, a taking sanctuary from the wild and woolly world kind of place.
First let's look at a home with a picket fence. A picket fence is sort of protective object. Even though you can come in easily. It is symbolic. You have to pause a moment to decide to enter... to find the gate and enter. You have to question. Am I invited here? or not? Do I belong here? It is a boundary. It says this is "our" little piece of the world enter if invited. I want my home to be warm, inviting, loving. I'm working on it.
But in the meantime. My mind has wondered to the other place. A person as a sanctuary. My Grandma was this. I long to be this. I want to be a safe place with unconditional love and warmth. I want to bring joy and peace and be fun. I want to have a listening ear. I want you to leave me feeling better than when you came. I want you to feel you belong.. no rejection. This is how I want to be. Sometimes I am often I'm not. I find the more time I spend with the Lord learning who I am in Him the more often I'm able to be more like I want to be even though I have a way to go. But remember we are talking about a dream. I'm dreaming and praying that I can be a white picket fence kind of woman and that my home can be a white picket fence kind of home. It is my dream and I'm resurrecting it. And with God's help I know it will be a dream come true.