So yesterday I got a tooth pulled. OUCH!!! Not a fun experience. Thought I had dealt with a lot of my fears. But I missed this one. For years dentists have terrified me. I actually cried because I was afraid. I looked down at my hands...they were shaking and I was shaking deep inside. For crying out loud! I'm a mom of grown women and a grandma (Nonna) even. And all I could think about was that awful experience I had years before at the dentist. The dentist (who I found out later was rumored to have been a drinker) gave me 6 shots and than proceeded with me trying to tell him I wasn't numb. He hit a nerve. Thought I was going to die. He said "Maybe the doses were too weak" MAYBE! You may be asking "How did you let that happen?" Well, back than I had lacked confidence in myself and was so afraid I didn't speak up loud enough or forcibley enough ....but now I would never let that happen to myself. For instance yesterday it took 6 shots because I kept telling him it wasn't numb. But his attitude was completely supportive. I could tell he wasn't proceeding until I was numb and comfortable. Yay! Thank God for good dentist. But if he had been a bad one, I wouldn't have let him proceed until I was numb. I've grown and watch out better for myself.
Anyway, fear kept me away from the dentist till I found myself losing a tooth. So embarrassing. But I'm so glad the pain is gone and encouraged that I can face my fears and maybe get my teeth in good shape.
It reminded me of sin. How much sin do we not deal with because of fear? We fear we will lose control of our own life. We fear we won't have fun any more. We fear we can't let go of something we need to let go of. But whether you need to give your life to the Lord or you already have and you just need to let go of a sinful habit. Or maybe you need to let go of shame even though God has already forgiven you. Face the fear! Make peace with your creator, accept your savior. It's so wonderful on the other side. What an adventure! What a great way to live. Not a perfect way cause we are human and inherently imperfect, but Jesus is perfect and if we let Him he will give us his perfect love and wash away our sins and give us a clean slate, a new beginning. And if you already follow him but find you need to deal with something. He won't throw you away because you have an area in need of His help. In fact, He already knows about it. And like an awesome perfect father He wants the best for you. Life with Him is a constant ongoing place of growth and if you ask him he will bring healing and deliverance in all the crevices of your heart and mind. I have followed him since I was a child. Sometimes closely, sometimes far away. But these last few years I have pressed in to Him and learned more about Him and spent more time with Him. How sweet it's been. We, He and I are dealing with deep things. Deep established sins, habits, fears, pains. And let me tell you: It's so sweet! Let me invite you to find out for yourself. Come follow Jesus, or press in closer if you already are.
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