I'm not real good at posting here. Sorry. But I found something I wrote a while back. Thought you might enjoy it.
Once upon a time there was a woman who couldn’t sleep. She tossed and turned and finally got out of bed. The world is a strange place in the middle of the night. All the weariness and worries of the daytime seem magnified in the wee hours of the morning. But there is also a deep silence, a sense that the world is resting, preparing for tomorrow’s sorrows and joys. Somewhere she could also feel God’s presence, for unlike many might quip, he doesn’t really sleep. He really is always awake, aware of where his children are and what they are doing. He sees what they think is done in secret and darkness. He is aware of all their life. He loves them and seeks their companionship always. He is saddened by their choices in the night time hours, mostly. There are a few who are up praying, beseeching him for those wayward ones who are in dire need. If most would just stop and listen they could feel his breath, his love for them.
But back to our sleepless one. She didn’t know what to do with herself. Her body wasn’t awake just her mind. What to do… mindless television? A book? Prayer? Write a letter? A poem? Nothing particularly appealed to her. So she decided to go back to bed and read a lame book she had beside her bed. Awe the numbing boredom of it all. How had she lost the joy in living? How had she lost the happiness she had sometimes known? She remembered when she could just watch her wee ones breathe with an angelic look on their face and she would know life would be okay. That if there was something that perfect there must be a God above who loved her so much that he blessed her with a miracle all her own. And now she wondered why God who she knew loved her because she had walked with him for many years and he had brought wonder to her over and over. But why did he allow sorrow and pain to come to her through that same sweet child who had grown into a young adult capable of making wrong choices that tore at her heart and at her peace. Did he still love her? Than why this ongoing torture? Was this somehow growing pains for her child? Was it a way for that child to find her own relationship with this wondrous God that her mom knew? If that were the reasons behind it all than she could bear the pain because their was nothing in all this wide world more precious, more true than the sweet knowledge of the love and presence of her heavenly father. And this was what she wanted for her children more than any other thing. That they know the amazing love and acceptance of their creator. That they connect with the one who made the universe. One on one. Because if they could do that than it would be well with them. Yes, she thought maybe she could sleep better knowing that perhaps this was why all the current turmoil. If this were the reason than she could just put all those wearisome worries and frets in the hands of the one who is all knowing, is all powerful and all seeing. Yes, she could trust him and cast it all on him and finally get some sweet sleep and rest.