Sleeping babies

There is just something about waking up to a sleeping baby. Watching their gentle breathing. And my sweet Bekki will say, "Morning Nonna!"  Usually followed by "Where's Poppa?" haha  But the soft sleep filled voice saying Morning Nonna grabs my heart. Of course, all she does grabs my heart. What a sweet little girl. And she is so smart, so bubbly, so fun, so good and so full of love.  She gives hugs to everyone like a princess granting wishes to all request them. Leaving a bit of her sparkle to all she encounters.

If you ever doubt if God loves you, take a look at those babies and grandbabies. How can you not believe in God when you look in their little faces? :
In James 1:17   It says:
Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.
That's God and those babies are your good, good gift.  How blessed we are with our sweet children and grand children.  How blessed I am with my sweet Bekki Lou.

Jabber Jabber

  My brother always seemed to get a kick out of my jabbering about this or that when I was little and as I grew.  Really even now I can sometimes see that slow grin come on his face as I jabber on about something that is exciting to me.  Lately it's our grand-kids we talk about and smile.  As I have always wanted to be a writer words and thoughts have always been buzzing around in my head.  At church recently we had this couple that came and talked about the differences in men and women.  He said what Paul has convinced me is true though I can't for the life of me understand it, that men actually have moments when they are thinking nothing!  Nothing!  I just don't get it.  I can wake in the middle of the night and my mind is having a gabfest with itself.  Just like words, phrases, and thoughts have always been with me.  It seems almost like Paul has always been with me.

We now both work on the same bus.  He is the driver and I'm the attendant. Now all the girls have flown the nest so it is just us here at home   We are together 24-7.  We talk a lot....talk, talk, talk.  We share ideas from books, he tells me what people say on facebook.  I tell him what one of our daughters has said or one of my friends.  We discuss what the minister preached or what someone he listened to preached about or a blog one of us has read. We talk about my hobbies or his.  Or he tells me how he has figured out how to fix something that has broken around the house or on the car.  Or we ask each other to listen to what the other has wrote.  And we always talk about the grandbaby and what cute thing she has said or done lately. And we always end with "She's a good girl, Poppa(or Nonna, depending who is talking)".

I was thinking yesterday how much this reminds me of when we were first dating.  We were 17 and 18. We were dreamers.  We were young and idealistic. We talked on the phone for hours and hours.  We talked on our dates for hours.  We talked and talked and talked.  It made me smile to think that all these years later after almost 38 years we still like to exchange ideas, share thoughts, work out solutions by talking and listening to each other.  We had some rough spots along the way.  Part of the problem at those spots was a lack of talking and listening.  But overall we have made it and we are still crazy (about each other) after all these years.

I said all that to say to my unmarried readers.  If you don't enjoy listening to your gal or guy now and if they don't seem to listen to you, if you don't think of sharing with them first when something interesting happens in your day.  You might want to re-evaluate your situation.  Thirty-eight years with someone, if you make it that long, who doesn't listen to you or who you don't want to listen to, is a long, long, time.  If their eyes glaze over when you just begin to mention something you are passionate about now, you might want to throw that fish back in the sea now and move on.

And while I have your ear, don't remake yourself for someone else.  People change like a chameleon to be with someone. Then they marry and when they get tired of pretending and relax and be themselves, they are surprised to find they have nothing in common.  Be yourself. Be the person God made you to be and than you will attract someone who likes you and likes enough of the same things to have something to talk about.  And if they really like you they will care enough to listen to what excites you even if they are not that interested in it.

For instance, my brother loves all things automotive.  My sister-in-law knows lots about cars because he has talked about them through the years and she has listened.  Me?  I may have been a motown fan only all my life if I hadn't learned about music from Paul. Because it's important to him I now know enough about different styles and kinds of music to talk with him about it.  And even randomly to impress him with my knowledge.  Which makes us both smile.  You want to still make each other smile thirty-eight years from now, don't you?  Than you have to be willing to jabber with each other about the mundane, the little stuff, the big stuff lots of stuff. And listen!  Don't forget to really listen.  You might just learn something.  You might have fun.

Come Away

This is something the Lord gave me a bit ago. I was rereading it and realized it is for more than just for me.  Hope it touches you like it did me.

"I speak to you through song, through beauty and nature, the sun, the stars, a baby's smile, a child's laughter.  I surround you with my voice every day.  Do you hear?  Are you tuned into me?  do you listen?   I'm whispering turn this way, turn that way.  Do you not hear?  Are you listening?  The wind blows and I whisper your name.   Come away with me Love, I say.   For a moment, for an hour, for a day.  Come away.  Hear me.  I surround you with my wonder.  Do you hear?   Do you see?  Close your eyes and see.  Close your eyes and hear me, Love.  I'm in a baby's cry.  I'm in the wind.  I'm everywhere.  You have been taught the enemy is everywhere but I say, I'm everywhere.   You have to have eyes to see.  Ears to hear.   Fear not!   Fear not  ! But lift your head, your redemption is nigh.   See me! Hear me!  Do you hear the sounds of heaven?  I'm near you.  I'm in you.  Sanctify your ears and hear me.  Hear me whisper your name. Come away Love.  Come away for a moment, an hour, a day.  Come away Love.  Come away with me.  Play.  Sing.  Dance.  Just be.  Just be with me.  
Rest.  Renew.  Relax. 
Come away for a moment, for an hour, for a day.  Come away.  Let me lift your burdens.  Let me lift the load!  Come away.  Come away.  Taste see that I'm good.  Feel.  Feel my love, my warmth, my heavenly touch soothing your brow.   Rubbing away the roughness, smoothing your troubled soul.  Come away, Love.  For a moment, for an hour, for a day.  Come away with me.  Practice my presence.  Hear me. hear my breath.  Hear me breathe on them (he means my girls and those I pray for everyday. Who does He mean for you?)  soft as a baby's breath.  Harsh as a mighty wind.  Whichever I desire.   But hear me.  Keep your ears open to hear me. hear me speak all day, in the middle of the night.  Loud.  Quiet.  Whichever way I choose.  Don't miss me.  Don't miss hearing.  All day listen, listen.  I'm speaking.  I'm speaking to you and all who has ears to hear.  Says the Lord!"

My Daddy

So I was thinking today.  I'm about the age my father was when he died.  Right around 55 and 10 months.  He died from a brain aneurysm.  He fell in the shower after watching Dukes of Hazaard on a Friday night in August.  I often wonder if he had a clue it was coming.  He had had a few black outs that he didn't tell us about.  He shared with a couple of people that told us afterward.  I've often thought how short his life was.  And I've wondered what our family would have been like if he had lived.  How different would I have been if he had lived?  I was 22.  He only knew my older niece and nephew and my oldest daughter.  He never got to enjoy the other grandaughters.  He would have loved them.  He always had a piece of gum in his pocket for my niece because she liked gum. How much better would their lives have been if he had been around?   I wonder what things would he have liked to have finished.  He had just recovered the interior seats of a 55 chevy not long before that.  I know at this age, I have so much unfinished.  I need to see my grandaughter growing up.  I need to see my daughters married and go through their pregnancies and births with my other grandbabies. I need to see them grow into the Proverbs 31 women I'm praying for all of us to become.   I need to share the things that God has taught me and shown me.  I still need to write, to sing, to dance, to live out loud!  I need to obey the things God has told me to do.  But you know.  I have no idea how many days I have left.  Just like my Dad.  He didn't know.  He didn't know that when he woke me up to hug and kiss me and baby Mandi and to say Good bye a few days before (I was moving away and he was going to work).  He didn't know it was the final good bye the final kiss and hug.  We never know which action will be our last ones.  Which will be the memory our loved ones holds.  Daddy didn't always wake me up like that.  I thought it was sweet at the time.   We have to savor each day.  Savor our loved ones.  Savor our time with them.  Love on them.  Keep in mind the uncertainty of tomorrow and think Is this argument really important?  Of course, you won't always get it right but maybe we can get it right more often.   We have to live well.  Shoot for living well.  Redeem the time.  Say I love you a lot.  And don't just leave, wake them up and say Good bye and kiss them, hug them.  Give lots of hugs.  Not only live out loud but love out loud.....with God's gracious help.

Truth

I was reading something that reminded me that we need to be truthful.  The truth is that I don't have it together. I try to be honest and truthful.  I try to be real.  But I fail miserably.  I have fallen down more than I have walked this walk of faith.  But through my whole life, right in the middle of each hot mess, there is one bright bold truth.  God has been faithful, never changing, always there.  So in case you have read my writings here and think I am saying I have all the answers, let me say out loud:  I have no answers save the ones I have gotten from a faithful, awesome, never changing God.  My Heavenly Father. When I fall I grab my skinned bleeding knee and limping and struggling I run to him, to his outstretched arms.  And always he embraces me and forgives, heals, loves me.  Yes, I'm a child of God.  Yes, He says I'm beautiful.  Yes, His love never fails.  But often these truths I believe in my heart I struggle with in my head.  I see the stink of my sin at eye's level and I can't always understand how He can love me and call me beautiful.  How he can extend grace and love and forgiveness to one as sinful as me.  I guess that is a place where faith is called into play.  We have to have faith to receive and believe what he offers and says about us.  He says yes, our sins are disgusting, our righteousness is like smelly old bloody rags but His righteousness He gives us, freely.  His beautiful rightfulness, pure, pristine, clean, perfect rightness, He chooses to give to us mere sinful mortals.  It belongs to us and we can walk in it.  What a joyful thing!  What a marvelous thing!  What a wondrous thing!  And it's ours to walk in to marvel at and to be eternally grateful for and to walk out.  It may take a lifetime or more to understand to live it out.  But all I'm saying here is start.  Start contemplating His truths and what He says about you.  Confess your sins to Him and start the journey and if you have but you still struggle like me.  Let's start embracing truth and honesty. Maybe a little at a time.  The thought of being transparent is scary.  But lets start walking toward living that way.  Come join me.

More to come as I struggle and grapple with this.

Don't like Brussel Sprouts? I'll Eat Yours

Brussel Sprouts. Yum!  They are in season again.  I love them!  Especially fresh ones.  My daughter and one of my friends adore a beautiful tomato.  While I can embrace their yummy goodness when in season .My love meanders to the humble brussel sprout.  Yes, it looks like a little cabbage which would be good but it has it's own flavor.  So good!  And I'm sorry is anything in miniature not cute?  It isn't the center of the veggie universe.  It isn't in the spotlight.  It doesn't have to have center stage.  It is content shinning in its on little place on the corner of the plate.  Where it is loved by the few.  Deeply appreciated for it's unique flavor.
I sort of go their myself.  I have a lot to offer but I don't want center stage.  I want to have the stage of one person at a time.  Discussing the Lord and His amazing love one at a time.  Whether with my sweet husband or one of my daughters, my beautiful grand baby, another family member or one of my dear friends.  I like to savoir and share my heart on a very small stage.  I shine best in the sidelines.
Where do you shine?   Are you a center of attention type?  or a sideline type like me?  or maybe somewhere in between?  It really doesn't matter.  As long as you shine somewhere.  As long as you bring God;s love that He has given to you to your world:  at home, at work, at play, where ever you are. You just need to shine, to share your story, your light.  Let your uniqueness shine.  God made us all different to add flavor to this world to make it better.  So if you are a tomato vibrant and beautiful or a brussel sprout with a deepness of flavor whichever  just go out and add to this world.  Bring His aroma wherever you go.

2 Corinthians 2:14-15

New American Standard Bible (NASB)

 ¹⁴ But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and manifests through us the sweet aroma of the knowledge of Him in every place. ¹⁵ For we are a fragrance of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing;