I was reading something that reminded me that we need to be truthful. The truth is that I don't have it together. I try to be honest and truthful. I try to be real. But I fail miserably. I have fallen down more than I have walked this walk of faith. But through my whole life, right in the middle of each hot mess, there is one bright bold truth. God has been faithful, never changing, always there. So in case you have read my writings here and think I am saying I have all the answers, let me say out loud: I have no answers save the ones I have gotten from a faithful, awesome, never changing God. My Heavenly Father. When I fall I grab my skinned bleeding knee and limping and struggling I run to him, to his outstretched arms. And always he embraces me and forgives, heals, loves me. Yes, I'm a child of God. Yes, He says I'm beautiful. Yes, His love never fails. But often these truths I believe in my heart I struggle with in my head. I see the stink of my sin at eye's level and I can't always understand how He can love me and call me beautiful. How he can extend grace and love and forgiveness to one as sinful as me. I guess that is a place where faith is called into play. We have to have faith to receive and believe what he offers and says about us. He says yes, our sins are disgusting, our righteousness is like smelly old bloody rags but His righteousness He gives us, freely. His beautiful rightfulness, pure, pristine, clean, perfect rightness, He chooses to give to us mere sinful mortals. It belongs to us and we can walk in it. What a joyful thing! What a marvelous thing! What a wondrous thing! And it's ours to walk in to marvel at and to be eternally grateful for and to walk out. It may take a lifetime or more to understand to live it out. But all I'm saying here is start. Start contemplating His truths and what He says about you. Confess your sins to Him and start the journey and if you have but you still struggle like me. Let's start embracing truth and honesty. Maybe a little at a time. The thought of being transparent is scary. But lets start walking toward living that way. Come join me.
More to come as I struggle and grapple with this.