Thursday, March 15, 2012
So I was thinking today. I'm about the age my father was when he died. Right around 55 and 10 months. He died from a brain aneurysm. He fell in the shower after watching Dukes of Hazaard on a Friday night in August. I often wonder if he had a clue it was coming. He had had a few black outs that he didn't tell us about. He shared with a couple of people that told us afterward. I've often thought how short his life was. And I've wondered what our family would have been like if he had lived. How different would I have been if he had lived? I was 22. He only knew my older niece and nephew and my oldest daughter. He never got to enjoy the other grandaughters. He would have loved them. He always had a piece of gum in his pocket for my niece because she liked gum. How much better would their lives have been if he had been around? I wonder what things would he have liked to have finished. He had just recovered the interior seats of a 55 chevy not long before that. I know at this age, I have so much unfinished. I need to see my grandaughter growing up. I need to see my daughters married and go through their pregnancies and births with my other grandbabies. I need to see them grow into the Proverbs 31 women I'm praying for all of us to become. I need to share the things that God has taught me and shown me. I still need to write, to sing, to dance, to live out loud! I need to obey the things God has told me to do. But you know. I have no idea how many days I have left. Just like my Dad. He didn't know. He didn't know that when he woke me up to hug and kiss me and baby Mandi and to say Good bye a few days before (I was moving away and he was going to work). He didn't know it was the final good bye the final kiss and hug. We never know which action will be our last ones. Which will be the memory our loved ones holds. Daddy didn't always wake me up like that. I thought it was sweet at the time. We have to savor each day. Savor our loved ones. Savor our time with them. Love on them. Keep in mind the uncertainty of tomorrow and think Is this argument really important? Of course, you won't always get it right but maybe we can get it right more often. We have to live well. Shoot for living well. Redeem the time. Say I love you a lot. And don't just leave, wake them up and say Good bye and kiss them, hug them. Give lots of hugs. Not only live out loud but love out loud.....with God's gracious help.