Smother or Mother??? Which will you choose.

Having balance, being delicate, handling things easy, not stepping on toes.  Awe, these and so many more things are asked of mothers of grown children.  My tendency is to rush in like a bull in a china shop.
That doesn't work so well. ha

I want to control.  Lord help me!   But what I really want is for  them to be all grown up! and to own it.  Really!!!

RAISE THOSE CHILDREN!  GROW!  MATURE!  MAKE GREAT DECISIONS!  RUN YOUR LIFE WELL!  BE ALL GOD INTENDED!  BE AWESOME!  USE THOSE GIFTS GOD GAVE YOU!!  KNOW THE ANSWERS!! BE AS AMAZING AS I KNOW YOU ARE!!!

But wait, dear child, let me rescue you.  Oh...Oh..., don't fall down and learn from your mistake.  Let me help, Oh you didn't ask?   Hmmm.... this may work for a little one.. okay even little ones can't learn if we smother them and don't let them have wings and fly and sometimes fall and get back up again.  Failure... it is a good teacher.

The pain.  Oh the pain.  But the sweet rewards if us mother's can let the Holy Spirit lead us to speak when we need to and more often than not, don't speak when we shouldn't.   

It's funny well maybe more sad.  My sweet little mom is 91 and I love her. But she has never encouraged me to be independent.  Probably afraid to lose me.  She still thinks I should "obey" her.

This means I have had to learn to not smother, on my own.  Not that I have it all down pat.  Let's just say I'm a work in progress.  Some-days I do great.  They make a choice I don't like and I bite my tongue, smile and pray.  Other days, not so much.   It's ugly and painful.  Sometimes they like it, like my help.  Cause growing is painful and they are okay with not growing, not maturing.  Other days they resent my actions and push me away.  And I understand.  It's not pretty when you say with an ugly tone.  "Mom, I'm 58 I think I can make my own decision about that."    I want so much more for them.  I don't want to have them say that to me when they are 58.  I hope and pray we will do better.  

So why am I being so truthful?  My friend used to say "letting your panties show".  Meaning we are being very open and honest.  Well  two reasons: one is confession is good for the soul and two maybe you can learn so you won't make the same mistakes.  

Our goals that we mothers have are to raise our children to live well, on their own.  It's like Carla when she was little. My first, Mandi was a cuddlier.  Always close to Mom never going too far. The middle one, Carla was born when Mandi was 7.  Carla was different.  She had no fear.  She could fly!  Life was an adventure, even as a toddler.  She would go from Mom but she would consistently come back and touch me for a moment.  Kind of making sure I was still there.  She needed the security of knowing I was there for her. A foundation.  But she needed to fly, to explore.

That's how we are to do.  Encourage them.  Cheer them on.  Love them.  But let them do it.  Let them fall sometimes, even fail sometimes. But always covering them with prayer.  Trusting that God has a good plan and he will take care of them.  Give them wings.

Isiah 54:13All your children shall be taught by the Lord,

And great shall be the peace of your children.

(A great book that might help is The Power of Praying for Your Adult Children.  Amazon has it for a reasonable amount.)
  

Day of Trouble

Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him.

I will set him on high, because he has known My name.

He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him.

I will be with him in trouble.

I will deliver him and honor him with long life I will satisfy him and show him My salvation

Psalms 91:14-16

This verse from my Bible this morning sure did help me a lot.  Do you ever have those days when you are in trouble?  Some days the deliverance comes quickly.  You don't even suffer much at all.  Other days turn into months maybe even years.  But keep setting your love on Him.  He will deliver and honor and satisfy you and show you his salvation.  Why does it happen different ways at different times?  Sometimes an other's will may be involved.  Sometimes there is a bigger picture that only our Heavenly Father sees.  Sometimes.... who knows??? Only our Father.  But I know this one thing:  we can trust His judgement.  To those who maybe haven't spent much time with Him that may seem naive or at best crazy.  But when you get to know the Lord and you really spend time with Him and in His word.  You begin to taste a little of heaven, a little of eternity a glimpse outside your little world and you KNOW the one who created you has an awesome plan and He is trustworthy.  He knits it all together!!!!  He is making a beautiful thing called "your life".  But only if you will let Him.  He can give you a good rest of your life.  Not perfect, not the way you might imagine.  Like today it was a day with trouble but I learned a lesson.  I learned to be quiet and let the Lord work things out.  So though I dearly hate trouble and drama I love the lesson leaned today.  So days may not be the way you would choose them to be you can trust them to God and you can let Him work it all out for your good.

JEANIE IS POSTING AGAIN!!!!

JEANIE IS POSTING AGAIN!!!!!

My friend Jeanie has a blog here:  http://www.jeanierhoades.com/  Called Thought Collage.  She took a break from blogging and I had to just hang out there on her blog sometimes and read or reread old posts.  They were awesome, of course.  But like veggies, fresh is best.  A thought fresh from her heart.  Maybe still warm like fresh donuts. That was what her readers needed and wanted.

I waited patiently.  And my patience has been rewarded.  Jeanie is posting/blogging again.  And this makes me smile.  Cause in my day to day life, my grandbabies smiles, hugs, kisses and Jeanie's thoughts cause the sun to shine... and sparkles to come.

So if you haven't please go read her blog.  Mine pales in comparison.

WELCOME MESSAGE FOR JOHN PAUL

This is a letter to John Paul who will join us in about 2 weeks

Dear John Paul-Sweet Baby Boy,

You are still in Mommy's tummy right now.  But you will join our family soon.  And we are so excited!!!  I'm your Nonna and I will sing to you and hold you and rock you and kiss you all over.  We will have a grand time.  When you are bigger I will read to you and introduce you to the people and characters that live inside the covers of books.  You will love them.  I along with others will tell you about Jesus and God.  And how you are a beautiful. wonderful gift He surprised us with.  

But I'm not the only family and friends.  You have the most amazing Poppa.  He lives at my house and he will laugh with you and teach you about music and laugh at your funny jokes, tell you what a great job you are doing when you draw him a picture.  How do I know you will be funny and like music and laughing and drawing? Because  you have a big sister that does.   Her name is Bekki and she was our first grand.  She will love you and watch over you and show you the ropes.  She is quite amazing.

You also have a beautiful Momma and a handsome Daddy.  Momma has the best laugh when she laughs out loud.  Daddy will teach you guy things a boy needs to know.  They will love you deeply and forever. You will need to be patient with them as they learn how to take care of you.  I don't think they are really prepared for the ocean of love and emotions that is about to overtake them.  They might be just the least bit scared but it will be alright.  They will nail this parenting thing, as much as a person can.  

There are others too.  I have just met your Daddy's family.  They seem quite wonderful.  And they already love you. Their eyes were shinny just thinking about you coming at the shower for you the other day.   They have raised a boy so they will be great with you and help Momma and Daddy a lot.  They know how to raise a boy. 

And you have Aunts and Uncles, cousins, great grandparents, and lots of friends already.  It will be a good life.  We will count your toes and wonder at your beauty (baby boys can be beautiful, later they become handsome).  We will feel the breathe of heaven when you breathe on us as we hold you close.  You will take our breath away at the shear joy of just being you.  You will love us all.  And we will all love you to the moon and back.

Oh baby boy!  I want you to hurry and come and yet I want to savor the anticipation of your coming.  You will be like fresh clay ready to be imprinted with our families'  unique thoughts, traits, views etc.  We will have such fun.  

But really you will teach us as much as we will teach you.  You will show us new ways to look at things, new things to like.  You will make our hearts grow bigger with room to love the tiniest gift that will be like dynamite ready to explode and change us all.   

Welcome sweet boy!!!  Welcome to the world!!

Love Nonna  

My Auntie and God's love

I was talking with my Auntie tonight.  I just love her.  She is in her late 80's in age but spiritually and emotionally she is young at heart. She told me about how she was saved at 16 in First Assembly church here in Cookeville.  She said a Brother Scott preached about Noah.  It wasn't really a salvation message but she went down to the altar and accepted Jesus as her savior. This wasn't her home church.  I don't know why she was there.  But it was the beginning of her personal relationship with our Lord.  I had never heard this story before.


What I love about her is how she has such a common sense wisdom.  She continues to grow in her relationship with God, not standing still and growing stale.  She serves a living God who she speaks with daily.  So inspiring!  If I live to be her age I hope I can be like that.  A fresh knowledge of God and Jesus and the Holy Spirit daily.  A living relationship with a living God!!!
When we talk, heaven seems more real.  Life seems more vibrant, full of possibilities.  She makes me want to live better and shine brighter for Jesus.

Her and I are not perfect.  We have our issues, our short comings.  In fact, I have many.  But we belong to the King of the Universe and we hold His hand.  Something that is possible for anyone.  He loves us so and we are learning that more and more as we travel through this life, headed toward eternity with Him.

The question I would ask and the one I think she would ask if she could.  First do you know Him?  Are you saved as she was at 16?  If not... give your life to him and receive Him as savior.  He will never leave you or forsake you.  And if you are saved... do you really understand how much He loves you?  Are you living daily with the awareness of Him in your life?  If not, stop!  Start talking with Him every day, throughout your day.  This week the message keeps coming to me through different ways....a sermon, a song, a friend talking...."Him in me, I in Him".   That thought blows me away!  God, yes God in us, and us in Him.  Isn't that amazing?  He who started it all is aware of us and offering us a relationship with Him!!  Awesome, just awesome!

John 15:4

Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me.

I John 4:9-11  In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him.  In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.  Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.